Ever since Valentine’s Day passed, I have had such a strong urge to write about being alone. Not the being alone about being upset because you don’t have a significant other, but the being alone where you feel completely free.

Before I get into this any further, I want to just point out that I am not trying to say there is something wrong with being with another person and being happy in relationships. I just want to share part of my journey where I am okay being by myself, and giving myself the love I deserve. I want to write about this for anyone who is going through a difficult time because they don’t have a significant other, or they are having a hard time finding self-love.

I have always been independent, even when I am in a relationship. I never felt like I “needed” another person in order to get through life. However, I have had points where I was upset because I didn’t have a significant other, especially when I felt like I was the only one going through this. Once I realized that I didn’t need to get someone’s permission or approval before making pretty big decisions, I started to have a shift in my mindset. I think a change in mindset is the first step to being happy alone. If there’s a place I really want to go, or even a career change I’m thinking about, I only had to worry about myself, and with that I found a sense of relief. I no longer think “how will this decision affect my boyfriend?”, I focus on “how will this decision affect me?”.

The second step to being happy on your own is to build on your relationship with yourself and start practicing self-love. I know this sounds cliché and there are a million posts about this, but there are a million posts for a reason. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will have in your lifetime. If you’re not taking care of yourself and practicing self-love, you’re not going to be fully satisfied in a relationship with another person. Take some time out of each day to take care of both your body and your mind. I personally find that taking a hot bath, and ending my nights with some yoga help me reconnect with myself. Over time, you will start to look forward to this part of your day.

Adding on to building that relationship with yourself- act like you are dating yourself. Buy yourself flowers, take yourself out to dinner, or do any other activity that you may do with another person by yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first eating alone, but I promise you get used to it, and you may find that you really do enjoy it. Stepping out of your comfort zone is good for you, and you’ll find out a lot more about yourself than you thought.

My final step is stop trying to force relationships. When you go out with friends, don’t go out with the intention of finding someone, go out to just enjoy yourself and have a good time. You’ll have a lot more fun, and you don’t risk letting yourself down.

All of these steps take time. It’s completely understandable to ease into them one step at a time. I hope that no matter where you are in your journey, you love yourself first and understand the importance of the relationship with yourself.

Leave a comment down below if any of these steps have worked for you, or any steps that you have taken to be happy by yourself.